Lowny　Alone

Lowny Alone　

Suzuran child in love

He is a very nice boy, nihilistic and cool, but he is so healthy, honest and straightforward that he can’t wear a piece of clothing.He has a skinny body and his nickname is Roney.He has been a flabby baby from the time he was born until now.He pretends to dislike them, but in fact he loves tulips, hearts, and apples.She enjoys drawing in her sketchbook and reading blogs and essays of various people.She is always together with Mairi, the bear who gave her away.She was abandoned by her parents not long after she was born, and her name is just a common name, not her real name.She is soft-spoken, kind to everyone except herself, quick to help when in trouble, and takes responsibility for her work.However, he has a taciturn poker face, and comes across as somewhat awkward and inarticulate, not quite human, like a well-built robot.At first glance, of course, he is quite strange, but he remains a very serious and nice boy.

But, as his name implies, he is, horribly alone.

He always hides his true self at all costs.Even if he can’t even put on clothes, even if he has nothing to cover himself with, he at least tries to hide himself.He makes awkward, robotic armor with only his flesh, desperately trying to protect himself from being discovered for who he really is.

But its armour is brittle, fragile and full of gaps.

When, from time to time, the real him peeks through the cracks.Or when the armor was so unbearable that it was totally destroyed, and the pubic area was ripped open and bloodied.When the real him is exposed with grotesque genitals and blood.

The people who had taken advantage of his kindness by calling him a “good boy” turn their palms around and start abusing him.There is not even his dignity as a human being.No one treats him as a human being.As his heart was repeatedly torn apart in this way, he could no longer trust people.He cannot have the certainty that he will be loved.

Yet, he cannot blame those people.Rather, he accepts people as if he is the one who deserves to be treated miserably.Even if he wants to blame something, he can only blame himself.He thinks that he is not worthy of being loved as he is.He even thinks he is too arrogant to be loved unconditionally.That is why he is kind to people.He will help anyone who is in need.He takes his work seriously.The self-sacrificing love that he lavishes on people is his act of redemption.It is his way of atoning for the people who liked him, even if only temporarily, even if only as a “convenient existence.

He hates people.But he can’t kill them.There is no way he can kill the people he loved so much.So he has no choice but to disappear.For complete redemption, he must kill himself with his own hands.There will always be a punishment for those who have fallen in love with someone who is not worthy of them.It is your fault for having fallen in love so foolishly, ignoring the laws of the world, desperately loving people when you are less than human and can’t even wear clothes.Like this, he keeps blaming him.

He wants to be loved.Not just love, but to be loved.By being loved by someone, he wants to believe in someone from the bottom of his heart.He wants to bear one half of himself as much as he has entrusted the other half to that person.I want to live for that person and for myself.I want to make that my reason for living.I want to be happy as a person.

But now he can’t be happy.Because he can no longer trust people.Because he can no longer trust anyone from the bottom of his heart.That is why he is still fighting in solitude.He is fighting the pain of not being able to love anyone but himself, of not being able to live for anyone but himself, of not being able to love anyone but himself, of not being able to live for anyone but himself, of not being able to love anyone but himself, of not being able to love anyone but himself.

Hell.

He continues to pout in the hell that is him.

sketchbook

In preparation,,

May lilly Monster

one half of a child of Suzuran

A stuffed bear boy who was given his “self” by Lowney.His most treasured possession, he is nicknamed Mailey.He wears a bow tie and suspenders.His grandmother made him, and for a while he was just a stuffed animal, but as he took him under his wing, he seems to have been tricked by the gods or something and gained a life function in reality.He does not eat, excrete, or breathe, but he can respond to stimuli from the outside world and move his body on his own.It is unclear whether he has any kind of will.Since he was given to her at birth, they have never been apart for a single moment.

He plays with Maylee as his alter ego.Unable to trust people and unable to open himself up, he barely survives by believing that Maylee is the only person he can open up to and expose his “true self” to.In a sense, therefore, Maylee is his lifeline.

He sees in Maylee a shadow of his “childhood self.The innocent self who still wore an innocent smile, who genuinely believed in and loved people.Now that he has been cast down into hell, he hates his “childhood self.Sometimes, when his heart is thirsty, he has the desire to kill it.

So he strangles Maylee with both hands and fucks her by stabbing her pubic region in a gagging manner until she is on the verge of ceasing her vital organs.After being impaled repeatedly, Maylee’s crotch is ripped open and fully functional as a sexual organ.Maylee’s stuffing is already coated with his blood and semen in excess.

He does not reveal his wounds to the outside world, so as not to let his “true self” be known.Instead, he keeps his wounds inside, in the inner walls of his organs.Blood flows from his numerous wounds and fills the space inside.Not long after, his organs fill with blood, and not long after he is aware of it, they rupture.His genitals tear helplessly, and an unbelievable amount of blood gushes out.His armor is completely destroyed, revealing his true form.

He would then be further abused.In an attempt to protect himself, he began to thrust his grotesque genitals and blood into Maylee’s pubic region when he was about to burst so that people would not see his “real” self.Since it has become a habit, people’s abuse has become just a little bit better.

This is a secret between him and Maylee.

Today, he is still raping Mailey, somewhere, where no one can see him.

However, despite Maylee’s presence, he is still lonely.This is because Meily is his “other self,” not a stranger to him.

His relationship with Mary shows him the sweet illusion that he too can trust someone else.However, when he awakes from this illusion and remembers that Mary is his alter ego, he is forced to confront the fact that “you can only trust and love yourself,” and he finds himself falling deeper and deeper into the hell that is himself.You can only fall deeper and deeper into the hell of yourself.